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Goals

Fri, 18 Jun 2010 06:03:00-0700

So I realized that it was long overdue for my goals to be done. Here's a nice post to see how they went. I feel most stopped about 7 months ago for some reason :-p Big Goals (2/2)
1. Buy a house - DONE!
2. Start a family - DONE!
Arts and Crafts (4/11)
3. Knit 5 different projects (2/5) - Partially done at least.
4. Attend a knitting club meeting - Nope
5. Finish current cross stitch - DONE! Not framed, but done
6. Finish current needle point project - Nah, discovered I'm not nearly as much of a fan of needle point
7. Finish Wedding Scrapbook - DONE!
8. Finish Japan Scrapbook - Nope :-(
9. Get caught up in regular scrapbooks - Nope. James is 6 months in the last pic I put in. He turned 7 yesterday (Happy Birthday james!)
10. Frame some wedding photos - DONE!
11. Create wedding memory box ? and then get rid of the rest of the extra stuff! - DONE!
12. Learn to play the guitar - Nope, though maybe rock band 3 will help . . .
13. Memorize at least 5 songs on the piano (0/5) - nope. Though learned several new songs for church
Reading (1/5)
14. Read at least 2 books a month - I'm sure on average I did this one
15. Read the Lord of the Rings series - Nope
16. Read the whole Narnia Series - Nope
17. Read the Wheel of Time Series - Close. I'm to 11 and not going to touch 12 until all 3 of them are out (and in paperback)
18. Read the rest of the Discworld novels - Nope
Cooking/Food (5/6)
19. Put 50 recipes that we like into a recipe box - Nope, I'm awful at putting things onto paper
20. Try 20 new main dish recipes - DONE! (thanks to my diet)
21. Try 20 new baking recipes - I'm going to declare this done, again thanks to my new diet
22. Go wine tasting - 9/1/07 in Seattle, WA
23. Take a multi-vitamin every day for a month (31/31)
24. Make applesauce in the fall - DONE!
Exploring Indy/Carmel (5/15)
25. Go bowling at 2 different bowling alleys - Went bowling once
26. Go to a movie at the IMAX - 08/12/2007 - Saw Harry Potter 3-D
27. Go go-carting - Nope
28. Go to the laser tag - Nope
29. Try 30 new restaurants - Not 30, but a bunch
30. Go to 4 different parks - DONE!
31. Go to 3 restaurants with live music - sadly not
32. Go to a live comedy show - Yep!
33. Go to an improv comedy show - Nope
34. Go to the state fair - DONE!
35. Go to a play in Carmel - Never found one that really sounded good
36. Go to the symphony 3 times - Just once for video games live. But they call me all the time
37. Go to a play downtown - Nope
38. Go to a local festival - Does the farmers market count? Probably not
39. Go see a random foreign movie at the Keystone Arts Cinema - Ponyo!
Travel (4/9)
40. Go to Disney World - No, but going in January
41. Go to Europe - Yes
42. See a soccer game in England - Yes
43. Go to Vegas for a weekend - Nope
44. Stay in a Bed and Breakfast - Nope
45. See Avenue Q - Yes!
46. Have a big get together with friends somewhere fun - Yes!
47. Go to Turkey Run - Nope
48. Go to NYC (Possibly to see spiderman musical?) - Nope
Household (7/7)
49. Start an herb garden - Started, yes. Successful? No
50. Plant flowers - DONE!
51. Go through magazines and donate/trash most of them - DONE!
52. Go through books and get rid of ones that will never be looked at - DONE!
53. Go to the used book store (with books from above goal) - DONE!
54. Do something with all the old photos sitting up in the closet - They're organized, does that count?
55. Get stuff framed from honeymoon - DONE!
Fitness/Dance (2/6)
56. Get 1st degree black belt - Nope. Too many tests (would have taken 5) at WAY too much money
57. Learn enough dance to go out dancing - Learned enough!
58. Go out dancing - Never did go out though
59. Take a belly dancing class - DONE!
60. Be able to do a split - Lol, nope
61. Be able to run a mile in 10 minutes or less - Nope
Social (8/12)
62. Join a church - DONE!
63. Get involved in an activity at above church - Playing Piano for Teen Choir
64. Make at least 1 friend in Indy I feel comfortable calling for absolutely no reason - This one is a bit odd since the I lost touch with the friends I was making once Lilana came - but am making new friends. So still in proccess
65. Volunteer somewhere - I'm going to count church!
66. Donate to charity at least once a quarter - Did some donation, but not this much
67. Sponsor a child - Nope
68. Go on a picnic - With friends, yes!
69. Host a dinner party - Lol, no
70. Get to know a neighbor - Yes! We know quite a few
71. Take a class at the rec center - Yep, have taken several
72. Go to a meet up event - We tried euchre and my adobe one every month
73. Pay off Scott's Car - Yep!
Technology / Video Games (8/13)
74. Re-do layout of oldgraycat - Nope
75. Get pictures organized on computer - I think so!
76. Get pictures organized online - Yep
77. Get new host and move oldgraycat to it - 8/25/2007
78. Organize MP3s - As much as 55 days worth of music is going to get organized
79. Work with scott to get file server built and running - We did external drives instead of a file server, but we did something!
80. Get a new computer - Yep
81. Beat Final Fantasy 10 - Nope
82. Beat Final Fantasy 3 - Yep
83. Beat Final Fantasy 5 - Nope
84. Get a level 50 character in city of heroes - Nope
85. Get surround sound for Beatrice - Not surround sound, but better sound. So I count it.
86. Create a website for Scott and myself - Yep! Not updated much, but made
Random (1/7)
87. Get my ears pierced (again!) - Decided not to
88. Follow local and national politics in time to know enough to vote well - Yep
89. Create robot with mindstorm legos - No . . . will have to sometime
90. Make a snowman - I didn't, but the nieces/nephew did. Does that count? Probably not
91. Sled - Nope
92. Blog once a week - Lol, no
93. Ride a roller coaster - Actually never went anywhere that I could.
Language (0/6)
I just didn't do this category! 94. Re-learn 100 level Japanese Kanji
95. Re-learn 200 level Japanese Kanji
96. Re-learn 300 level Japanese Kanji
97. Review 20 Japanese vocab words a week
98. Read a book in spanish
99. Have a conversation with someone in spanish
Stuff for the end of the list (0/2)
100. Make scrapbook documenting each of these goal.
101. Make new list at end of this one! - Not yet, but think I will!
So total . . . 47 out of 101. Almost half! Not too bad really. At least I'm content with it as over the 2 years my goals changed quite a bit. Its going to take some thought to come up with another list. Right now at the top is getting this little girl to take a nap . . . . but hopefully that one at least can be accomplished!

7 months and teething hell

Mon, 14 Jun 2010 09:12:00-0700

Liliana is 7 months old today! Yay!! She's starting to really get frustrated at her inability to crawl, so I imagine she may try to fix that soon. She loves to sit and play with her toys and try to get her favorite toy . . . Hobbes. She grins whenever he comes close and lunges at him with both hands wide open, ready to grab fistfuls of fur. Poor Hobbes knows how far away he needs to sit at the moment - but I think his life will change as soon as she starts moving. She's also been entering the world of food. So far she loves bananas, sweet potatoes, pears and avocado. She despised peaches and really didn't care for green beans this morning. At least the green beans didn't get met with a face that looked like I fed her the worse thing on earth. She just stopped opening her mouth! We'll try again though. So far I'm continuing my hippy mommy ways and I've made all of her food. Its actually a lot of fun - and this way I know what is in it. But teeth. *sigh* I was half way convinced this girl was going to go the way of her cousin and not have any for a year or so. Or maybe I was just hopeful. Thursday our normally happy little girl woke up with red gums and was NOT a happy child. She fussed, yelled and then cried when I dropped her off at day care. That night was awful and when we woke up friday (or got out of bed . . .we were up most the night, so there was no true 'wake up') there was a tooth! Its hard to see, but easy to feel. I was really hopeful that she would then calm down and such since the tooth had cut . . but I'm thinking its partner in crime is trying to cut as well. She's been on and off an inconsolable, cranky mess. If she gets going she'll just start screaming . . .no crying, no fussing, just full out screaming (as she did when we got stuck in a traffic jam yesterday). Ugh. So we're all exhausted and slightly cranky. I hate seeing her in such pain, and just hope it goes quickly (at least until next time). In other fun news though, I'm on my way to becoming a world class drummer in green day rock band. Its fun :-) We also got to hang with Sarah yesterday which was awesome. I'm sure there is more going on in life right now, but I'm so exhausted I'm not sure what it is. *sigh* I leave you with Liliana's 7 month pic:

Moms aren't allowed to get sick . . .

Thu, 20 May 2010 08:41:00-0700

It would be nice if that were the case! Sick Baby + Sick Mommy == NO FUN! Last Thursday Liliana started to have a runny nose, which was about right on time. She gets a small runny nose about once a month it seams. Ah, the joy of daycare. This one progressed quickly though and she turned into a snotty, coughing mess not too long after. Saturday night I started to come down with it as well. No fun at all. Monday we all stayed home (with the assistance of my wonderful husband to take care of us) and Tuesday I tried taking her up to daycare. I got a call a bit later that she wasn't acting right and was refusing bottles. They finally got a bottle down her, but I ended up picking her up early and taking her to the doctor just in case. Turns out she has bronchiolitis. The bronchioli in her lungs are inflamed and due to the tinyness of her lungs it causes all sorts of no good wheezing and coughing. *sigh* Find out the next day that a kid in her room has RSV (pretty much nasty chest cold that in babies turns into bronchiolitis or pneumonia easily). When I dropped her off today 5 out of the 8 kids were out and one of the 2 caregivers. We got a breathing steam treatment thing for her to help break the crap up which seems to be helping, and she's once again our happy giggling baby at least. Now I just need a bit of sleep to get over this thing, but she keeps coughing herself awake. I understand how she feels, I feel like crap and at least understand why! So anyway, its been a really really long week in the Richardson household. Baby is almost better and I'm hoping to follow soon. In other news, she's 6 months old! Yipee!! She's sitting on her own like a pro now, which makes playing with toys much much more fun. She's also found that she can make loud noises to get our attention, which she just loves to do. If you make them back at her you can usually get her to go into a small fit of giggles. Her current favorite toys are remote controls, my cell phone, and car keys. yes, she's a true baby. We tried starting solids last weekend, but I think she was just not feeling right so it was an epic fail. She didn't dislike it really . . .just didn't seem to register that it was food we were putting in her mouth. We are trying again tonight with pears! But she's in the 65% for weight and 85% for height, so growing well. Scott and I have now officially been married 3 years (well, as of yesterday). We celebrated this milestone by me going to bed early (and both being up several times before daylight), giving our baby steam treatments, him mowing the lawn . . .yah, not the most exciting of days. Thats okay though. And I leave you with this - so wonderfully captured by Scott :-)

Ouchie

Thu, 29 Apr 2010 10:51:00-0700

Thrush sucks. And hurts. A lot. Ouch. Another, probably too much information, post by Beth: Liliana got an ear infection so was put on antibiotics (which she loved! She'd pull that pink medicine into her mouth whenever we tried to stop). Antibiotics can cause yeast infections . . . I guess they kill the good bacteria that fights off the fungus. So a common side effect in babies is thrush - a yeast infection in the mouth. Really not too big of a deal, we have some stuff to rub on it a few times a day and we have to sterilize all of her stuff nightly. The sucky part is she has now passed that off to me when she eats. The beginning weeks of breastfeeding did not hurt this much. *sigh* I have a call into a lactation nurse to get advise. Its making it hard to get enough in her bottle's, which is causing stress, which is causing it to be harder to get enough for her bottles (a nice cycle there!). Luckily its almost the weekend! Hooray! I'm super excited about seeing lots of people this weekend!!! It'll be fun :-) My mom is still hating chemo and having a hard time. It sucks, but she's still keeping a good outlook on it. Hopefully it'll be done before we know it. Florida was a blast. Liliana did great on the plane and during travel. We weren't the ones in the plane that had the crying baby! It was a great break from reality and wonderful to have some help on the baby front. My dad and step-mom took her whenever they could and she LOVED all the extra attention and holding. Lots of smiles and giggles. She also went to the beach for her first time. She seemed to like it, and it wore her out nicely. Poor girl was asleep pretty much as soon as I put her in her car seat. Not much else going on here. Just keeping up with things. This weekend we have company and the next we're up in Lafayette for Mother's day. After that we have free time!!! Its amazing!!! We have all sorts of baby adventures coming up though. We're going to start solids in 2 weeks, swim lessons in July (unless a spot opens up in June) and she really really wants to learn to crawl. Luckily it looks like we still have a bit on that last one. We're not ready for a mobile child yet! Pic for the day - Baby meets ocean:

In which I vent my stress . . .

Thu, 15 Apr 2010 12:08:00-0700

I am just a ball of stress today so thought I'd try to just lay it all out to see if I can pinpoint the true cause and/or find a solution. This is going to get long and tedious and really is just to help me sort things out. Getting enough milk for Liliana is a constant stress. I spend at least 30-40 min in the middle of the night pumping as well as 2 sessions once she's at daycare. This often yields enough (or even an oz or two extra), but somedays it doesn't. I'm doing okay right now and even have 24oz frozen. This may sound like a lot, but the little girl eats probably 30oz a day - but usually only 9 oz at daycare. This is the most I've ever been ahead though and so shouldn't be stressed about it. Really I'm not nearly as much as I have been, its just a constant stress since because of her food issues we have no formula back up just in case I run low for some reason. 4 more weeks though and she starts solids and not long after that she can start having those at daycare, so at least she won't stave. So this a major stress - but better. And much better than a month ago when my pediatrician (who apparently knows very little about breastfed babies and how much differently they eat than formula fed babies) warned me that she'll be up to 8oz bottles by 6 months. One of the uber cool things about breastmilk is it changes as they get older . . . so really from about 2 months - 6 months they don't take any more milk a day, just the content of it changes to match what they need. After 6 months she'll start taking less, not more, as growth slows down a bit and she eats solids. Anyways - so this is a stress, but not a horrible one anymore, just a pain in the ass. Food - my food is still somewhat a stress. It sucks sometimes not to be able to eat out at all and have to be hyper aware of all I eat. Its hard when traveling (like next weekend to Florida) and when the day just gets so crazy you want to order a pizza or run through wendys instead of cooking up a meal. I also really am craving a milkshake from scottys. Overall though the diet has been fine, I'm actually below pre-pregnancy weight and we have found some FANTASTIC foods. So again, a stress, but not a bad one. Also most babies outgrow this by 6 months, which again, is only 4 weeks out. Nighttime - my baby does not sleep through the night. We're up at least 3 times, sometimes up to 5. It cracks me up all the different things you can read on this - but most of the sites/authors I have agreed with the most throughout this whole baby thing agree that most breastfed babies will not sleep through the night before 6 months (that magic number again) and many even before a year. This is because their entire diet consists of something that digests in under 2 hours. Also they just really like the mommy time. Most of the time I'm good with this. I like the cuddle time too and she's back out within 20 minutes. It also gives me a chance to work towards those bottles of hers. The times I don't worry about that I have a DS by the chair and I game. Not a horrible thing. I really really miss sleep, but most nights am doing okay and am even staying up until 9:30 now! Honestly its been 14 months since I've slept well, whats another 7 or so until she's a year (80% sleep through the night by then) Mornings - mornings really suck. I think this is kinda the core of it for me right now. I can't take Liliana to daycare until 11ish because I can't get enough milk for 3 bottles for her. I spend those first 4 hours at home with her, while trying to work as well. The worst of both worlds of stay at home and working mom. I have to get some hours in or I can't get in enough for the week - but am trying to balance that and a baby . . . its not working. Especially now that she has realized that she can reach behind her while nursing and find the touch pad on my computer. I also am not really wanting to take her in to daycare earlier though as I cherish that time with her and get ansy enough having her there for 6 hours a day. What to do about this one? Lol - I have no clue. I think what would be best for us both is if I could get her to take a morning nap of 1-2 hours up in her crib. I tried this morning, but it failed. I need to start being consistent of about 1-1.5 hours after she wakes up that I take her up and put her down. Normally I don't because that eats into work time, but I think I have to start. It's just going to be a sucky few weeks possibly as she transitions to it. I can always make up work time at night (also sucky). Work - stressful as always, but a bit better. Really the main stress is getting in my hours a week. I'm still contemplating cutting back to 35 hours a week. I may discuss that at my upcoming 5 year review. How the hell has it been 5 years?! Thats crazy! But true. Besides that though work is going great. We have a HUGE release coming up on the 3rd, but I think its about ready. We're also getting lots and lots of leads for more projects and work and in general its just an exciting time. I love it. Family - I am of course super stressed about my mom. She's having a heck of the time with the chemo right now. It sucks. Not much I can do about this one though. Me Time - Still have close to zero of this. Thats another big stress. I'm coming to accept it though. I am getting 30-60 minutes after Liliana goes to sleep though to relax and that is helping. Even my time at church on Sundays is super stressful as it means leaving Scott with a baby who usually ends up screaming at him for a portion of the time. He's stressed about it, which makes me stressed about it and unable to enjoy this time at all. My Adobe user group time is up in the air as its currently smack in the middle of bedtime, and I'm the only one that can get her down. Luckily all of this is only a phase and I know she will outgrow it. I'm trying to just enjoy the fact shes so little and know it won't last long. House - actually okay. We broke down and got maids that come every other week and do the basic stuff. Its not that expensive at all and we'd much rather spend the time together or playing with the baby. The heat pump replacement sucked - but the new one is working really really well and our tax return covered most of the cost of it. We're also actually getting shit done in the yard somehow. I think the house is under control at the moment. Crazy. Baby in general - There's nothing like being a parent that will teach you that you know nothing. I still feel like sometimes I have no clue what I'm doing with this girl. But she laughs and smiles and chews on my face (this is a new favorite one of the past few days) and seems happy so I guess we're doing something right. So why am I still a ball of stress? I have no idea. When I break it all down, no one thing is all that bad. I think the main things are getting in work hours and those 3-4 hours in the morning at home with the baby (which really leads to the work hours issue). More sleep would help this issue, but thats okay. If you made it this far I applaud you. But this post was really written just to help me sort things out. Now to figure out solutions . . .

5 months

Wed, 14 Apr 2010 08:42:00-0700

Wow, my baby is 5 months old today! What's really scary is how little of the past 5 months I remember. I'm convinced this is why people have 2nd children - they forget how life is with so little sleep. She wakes up for the day with the best grins though, so its not too bad! She's also fighting a cold right now, so I'm hoping she sleeps better once this is past Overall though she is a happy little thing that gives us lots of smiles and more and more giggles every day. She has discovered the fun that is grabbing anything that is in our hands. She has also discovered the cat, which has led to many a hilarious moment as poor Hobbes tries to figure out what the heck is going on. I think so far he's only lost one fistful of fur, usually she's pretty good. House wise, we got our new heat pump installed yesterday. Its the super powerful, super efficient, better keep us warm and cold or else model. Plus its new and shiny. So far so good - we were warm last night. It was just a very painful check to write. My mom is doing well. Her first round of chemo went off without too many side effects. She'll be overjoyed when its all over though. I'm getting really excited about upcoming events. A week from Friday we head down to Florida to see my Dad. Could be a true adventure to fly with Liliana, but hopefully she'll do well! The weekend after that lots of you come to visit! Yay! And thats my little disjointed, sleep deprived update. Hope everyone is doing well! Here's Liliana's 5 month pic:

End of March!

Wed, 31 Mar 2010 09:03:00-0700

Where did March go? Its crazy! Though I can't complain . . . Spring has finally hit and I couldn't be happier. The sun is shining and flowers have bloomed. I love it!!! Of course that brings yard work . . .but I'm trying to ignore that. Things here are still hectic of course. My mom starts chemo on Monday most likely. She'll go in every 2 weeks for a total of 12 doses of it. It doesn't sound like this treatment is as nasty as some at least. She shouldn't lose her hair and a lot of people don't get too terribly nauseous. The worst thing to her is she can't have any drinks with ice in them as she'll become far more sensitive to cold. No fun in summer, thats for sure. She still has a great attitude about the whole thing though and we're planning a whole family trip to Disney next January for when she's done with it all. Disney with a 14 month old should be interesting :-) Liliana has her first ear infection, which sucks. Poor thing has had a cold for about 2 weeks and it was getting a bit better every day and then this weekend she pretty much started freaking out. Poor Scott got to hear new sounds out of her when he was watching her Sunday night. I took her in on Monday and she's been on amoxicilian since (the pink bubble gum stuff!). We are getting better at giving this to her without it getting everywhere - though we have to wipe the fat rolls of her neck a lot afterwards :-) It doesn't seem to be kicking in yet, but it should by tomorrow or Friday. For now tylenol is our friend. When her ear is okay though she's a smiling happy baby who is getting stronger all the time. She rolled over again this morning, proving to me once again that she can do it, but is much more content face planting the floor and screaming whenever I try to put her on her stomach. She's a stubborn one! I'm having my last round of fun from being pregnant . . .hair loss! Its insane, I feel like I'm going bald. I guess for 9 months I didn't lose much hair and what didn't come out then is coming out now. Its supposed to taper off in the next month or two at least . . .if I have any hair left by then. In other sucky news, we're going to have to replace our heat pump. The whole mess with it dying in December came back to haunt us. The bad part being we have no AC either at the moment (which as its only 70 isn't bad). But I guess there are lots of government incentives right now to get energy efficient stuff, so we're going to take advantage of those. We were wondering what to do with the tax rebate . . .now we know! *sigh* So my challenge to all of you . . . Blog!!! Its too quiet!!! So today's pic . . .thanks to the Jeebis. We couldn't get a great pic, but we'll try again before she grows too much:

Sleep . . . .

Tue, 16 Mar 2010 05:50:00-0700

Oof, its been a long few days. Some very well meaning doctor's advice has turned me into a sleep deprived zombie and my daughter's stomach into a war zone. I don't think I ever blogged about this (though have made mention on facebook) - but poor Liliana has MSPI. That is Milk/Soy Protein Intolerance. Pretty much any cow's milk protein (and probably goat as well) or soy proteins can't be digested by her intestines and so they get inflamed. This causes neon green poops as stuff shoots through her so quickly that the bile shows through. It also caused her intestines to bleed and all sorts of not fun stuff. This causes 2 difficulties . . . one, she can't really have any formula since they are all milk or soy based. This isn't a huge deal as I wasn't wanting to give her any anyways, but it is stressful to have no backup for daycare. There is a super expensive formula she could have, but we're trying to avoid the 40 bucks a day or so! The other solution has been for me to cut ALL milk and soy out of my diet. You'd be surprised how much this is . . . I can't buy any bread in stores, crackers, etc. And since I'm needing like 500-800 extra calories a day, its been difficult. We've adjusted though and I've found several websites that have helped. Also the discovery of vanilla almond milk and chocolate cheerios has made my life MUCH happier :-) There is also a soy free/dairy free margarine (not as bad as it sounds, its just different oils than soy) that has allowed me to bake again. Right now we have some homemade granola bars that are like 2% oatmeal, and 98% unhealthy goodness. Anyways, back to the main point. Supposedly a lot of kids outgrow this starting at 4 months. A lot outgrow it by 6 months and almost all by a year. Luckily its not the same as an allergy and isn't related to lactose intolerance . . .so chances are she'll be eating a normal diet when we get well into solids. At her 4 month checkup the doctor told me to go ahead and try soy. Saturday morning I ate a kashi bar which has soy listed as an allergen. I was optimistic as Saturday was okay . . but now all has gone downhill. We have green diapers again and a very fussy baby who is waking up at all hours of the night. I feel awful for hurting her little insides again :-( At least soy leaves the body quickly - she should be better by this weekend at the latest. Dairy took about a month to clear out of both of our systems! It also causes congestion, a rash (which hasn't come back at least) and other fun things. Combine that with a massive growth spurt and daylight savings time and you have an exhausted mommy and baby. I guess it was unavoidable. For some reasons almost all babies have a huge issue sleeping at 4 months it seems. Lots of growth and lots of figuring new things out. The stomach issues are just making a bad thing worse. On a happy note its sunny out and supposed to stay that way for several days. Its also going to reach 60. Yay! Scott and I also get to go on a date this weekend, which is super exciting. I also know that someday I will sleep again :-) Oh . . . and in response to Brett's question . . here is an exercauser:

Updates!

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 10:23:00-0700

I was just discussing with Carnahan how slow the blog world has been - so I thought I should blog myself! Its been a crazy few weeks with little chance of anything settling down soon. My mom is recovering from her surgery quite quickly. Chris came up from Texas and stayed with her for a week - and by the end of that week she was up and getting around. She is having some back pain now, but nothing too horrible. All 23 lymph nodes they removed came back clear, but they did say that the cancer had moved into the bowel walls - placing it as a stage II cancer. Unfortunately the next step is unclear . . . with stage II colon cancer chemo is not a for sure thing, and there is some debate as to if its worth it considering the risks of chemo itself. The first doctor she went to wanted to start it in a few weeks and go every other week for 6 months. She's getting a 2nd opinion in a week at a place that seems much more patient friendly and caring . . . so regardless of what they say it sounds like it'll be a better place for her to continue her care. Overall she's in great spirits and is really optimistic about everything, which I think will help a ton! Besides that things are just a whirlwind of insanity. Balancing a 4 month old, full time work and a sick parent is wearing me down! I'm considering a switch to 35 hours a week for work - which would still be considered full time so I'd get the benefits and such, but it would buy me enough time that I'm not finishing up all my hours Saturday mornings. One thing that is saving me is Liliana is going to bed earlier, so I have from 8:30-9:30 or so each night to relax. Its nice! Though daylight savings time will screw it all up this weekend. Stupid state switching to observing daylight savings time. Liliana is doing great. She had her 4 month checkup and is growing right on track. She's now realized that her hands can be used to grab things and is having a blast with that. She also has graduated to the age she can use jumpers, exersaucers, etc. We have a jumper for her, but she's too small for it! Her little legs just hang there. Won't be long though! She's becoming a ton of fun with lots of smiles and laughs. She's got quite a little temper in her though and can go from smiles to screaming with no warning. Mostly this is due to her deciding naps are evil I think, so by the evening she's exhausted. *sigh* But she's sleeping from 8:30-7 with only waking up 2 times, so we're managing! My goals have been going pretty good though. I haven't made it to hanging out with friends at all . . . but I have continued going to the breastfeeding group and playing at church. We've also been going on daily walks, which is fantastic! The guilt about day care . . . well . . . I'm still working on that. It still really sucks to drop her off every day. I'll keep working on that one! Time to find a snack. I'm going to miss being able to be a bottomless pit once I stop breastfeeding! Oh . . and a pic! This shows she has a future in TKD :-)

Wow, is it really almost March?

Thu, 25 Feb 2010 08:51:00-0700

Like always I have had great intentions of blogging. Like always they fail. *sigh* But at least this time I feel I have a good excuse! My free moments a day can usually be counted on one hand!! February has been quite a month, and one I'm glad is almost over. Its shown me many times that just when I feel like I have everything under control, that I have no clue what is going on or what will happen next. The biggest example of this is with my Mom. She called me a few weeks ago to let me know that she had a routine colonoscopy and a tumor was found. They took a sample and sent it off to a lab. She tried to downplay it of course so I wouldn't worry . . .and of course I worried. It came back as cancer. This started a whirlwind of events that started with a cat scan (luckily came back negative, hopefully showing nothing has spread) and surgery yesterday to remove the tumor. She'll be in the hospital for another 5-7 days and then at home recovering for a few weeks. The surgeon is pretty confident they got everything. We'll know more in a few days when the pathology stuffs come back. Nothing can ever really prepare you to hear your parent has cancer, but at least at this point we're all optimistic that they caught it early enough and she'll make a full recovery. Liliana is also growing up on us. Its amazing to see day to day differences in a baby. Just this past week she has suddenly discovered her hands can be used to grab things. Right now her favorite things are cloth (blankets, burp clothes, this creepy little brown cloth with a monkey head . . ) but she's batting at toys and I'm sure will be sticking them all in her mouth any day now. Luckily with her growing has come a bit more predictability in sleep too. Most nights we start bedtime between 8:30 and 9. Scott gives her a bath (one of her favorite times of day!) and then I feed her and put her down. I haven't had any issues with this in weeks, its great! Earlier this week she decided to rebel and get up every hour which was horrible, awful, and exhausting - but she's back to normal now. Two nights ago she was up 2 times and last night was only once between 9:30 and 7:30. I can take that. Its a lot of fun watching her grow and figure things out. I think these next few months could be frustrating as she just seems to want to be put down so she can run off and explore. The issue being of course she can not crawl or move on her own. Heck, she can't even roll over yet. So she's getting pretty frustrated. I also fear for Scott and I once she is mobile as I think she will be constantly on the go. I guess we'll get really good at this baby proofing thing! The hardest thing for me recently has been finding myself in all of this insanity. My days are pretty much wake up, take care of baby, work, feel guilty about having baby at day care, loving having baby at day care, clean bottles ,make sure baby has enough milk for the next day and then have the glorious 30 min at the end of the day when she's taking her final feed and I can just rock her and play my nintendo DS in silence. Scott is fantastic at helping where he can, but the whole breastfeeding thing still has her pretty tied to me a good portion of the day (and night!). I haven't been able to work out, hang with friends, or do anything to keep an image of me in all of this craziness. Sometimes I feel like a food source and a pair of arms to carry and bounce this probably 14 lb child all the time. So I've decided I need to make some goals for March to help this out before I become a bitter mess of a mommy just covered in spit up and drool. So because I'm sitting here babbling at all of you, here they are: 1 - I'm going to take off one afternoon a month with Liliana in day care to just do my own things. This may be something like getting a massage (I've owed myself one for over a year now!), baking, or heck, even cleaning out some closets. Just things that are impossible to do with a baby at home. 2 - I'm going to hang out with the girls once a month at least. We usually have a craft type night, but with the baby and then one of us in school its been hard. But I figure I'll make sure at least one Sat. a month if possible to go get nails done, go to the mall, something . . .just to hang with the girls (minus baby if possible!) 3 - I'm going to try to let go of all this guilt about day care. I know she is fine there. I see the older kids having a blast there all the time. I know I'm a better mommy to her if I get some time to recoup and be an adult. Why can't I not feel guilty every time I hand her to a very kind person at day care? I think its part of being a mom. I'm going to try to work on this. 4 - I'm going to keep playing piano at church and try to enjoy that time. I really like participating there, but a lot of time I find myself just stressing and wondering how Scott and Liliana are doing. I need to let it go and just have fun making music with some talented people. 5 - I'm going to keep up with the Adobe user group. This is my professional networking crap. Its also a lot of fun. It sucks that we meet at Scottys now (because I can't have dairy or soy there is probably nothing there I can eat . . including some TASTY chocolate cake. *sigh*) but the people are great and it does help professionally. 6 - Working out needs to come back into my schedule at some point. For now I'm just going to wait until spring hits and do it in the form of walks several times a week. I need to get some other things in order first before I can manage making it to the gym. 7 - I'm going to keep going to the breastfeeding groups weekly. Talking with other moms continues to be fantastic and helpful. Also its nice to see how much weight the little one gains each week. 8 - Scott and I need to figure out ways to get more time as a couple. We're doing well, but its frustrating. Sadly I think this one may not be easy until Liliana's old enough for babysitters, or my mom is healed enough to babysit while we go see a play or something. We did get to go on a date to see a play on valentines day, and that was fantastic. Also, I'm finally getting enough sleep last night that I can see a point soon that I can put Lily down and not feel like I need to go to bed right away myself . . .so hopefully we'll have time together after her bedtime. I feel like 8 is plenty of goals - and I should really be working, so I'll stop there! I leave you with this because it is cute. And no, she did not have a dirty diaper after this

I have two hands to type!

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:30:00-0700

Woot! Lily is asleep on my chest so I finally have a good amount of time and two hands to type out another entry. Of course the reason I'm so bored is that our heat is completely busted. We have a nice space heater running in the bedroom, but my guess is the rest of the house is hovering in the low 30s. Makes for a VERY boring and long day. I was hoping to go run some errands but I was kinda stuck waiting for service people. I had grand plans of going out after they left while the house heated back up, but they took over 2 hours and realized they had no clue what the issue is. I'm now waiting for a call from the office to have a service tech come out . . .but as its 4:30 I'm starting to think I'm not going to see anyone today. *sigh* So I left off before saying I was going to write about the hospital stay. Its been over a month now of very very little sleep, so things are a blur, but I'll try! Overall the hospital stay was very pleasant. We had lots of company in and out, which got hectic in the little room, but it was nice to see people. Scott had a little bed that worked decently enough so he was able to stretch out and there were hot chocolate chip cookies at all times of the day! It got kinda crazy as we got a new nurse every 12 hours, but it worked. They'd come in, introduce themselves and do whatever they had to do with me and/or Liliana. We had been determined to keep Liliana in the room with us, but gave that up as we had both only gotten a total of about 6 hours sleep for 2-3 days. They informed us that meant they'd probably end up giving her a pacifier. Another thing we were hoping not to do . . .but sleep deprivation won and we sent her off to the nursery. (now we do everything we can to get her to take a pacifier!) So the only rant about the hospital is the information they gave us. I think if you put together all the different things we were told, no matter what we do we were going to deform our child for life. Seriously, for example: swaddling . . . we were told to never do it, always do it, only do the top half, only do the bottom half . . .it was insane. We have discovered since that Liliana sleeps TONs better if swaddled, so swaddle we do. Its frustrating though as new parents to not be told anything consistent. Especially since each acted like they were completely right and anything else had to be wrong and dangerous. *sigh* But overall it was a pleasant two days. I had fantastic food (how weird is that in a hospital?!) and wasn't too uncomfortable. So its frustrating . . . they tell you lots of things, and then leave out lots of vital little tidbits. For example: Breastfeeding - HURTS! At least for the first few weeks. We're now mostly pain free unless she decides to throw her head back without letting go. That hurts. A lot. While it is amazing that I am able to feed this little child it also is completely exhausting. No one tells you of things like cluster feeds (she's gone up to 4 hours without stopping during growth spurts) and the fact that as well intentioned your spouse is in helping in the middle of the night, there's not much they can do when you are the food source. Its also most of what I do some days. Newborns eat every 2-3 hours around the clock (we've gotten a few 4 hour chunks at night on wonderful nights). What sucks is this from the beginning of one feed to the beginning of the next. She'll sometimes eat for 1.5 hours, meaning I sometimes only get a 30 minute break before she starts again. I am at least happy that its working and she's put on 2 pounds since birth. I've also been told that it will slow down over the next month and she'll get more efficient at eating so that it won't take over an hour! Some happy things though is that its wonderful bonding time with the little one. Also, breastfeeding burns between 500-800 calories a day! So while most of the time this would mean I'd actually be losing weight, since it is Christmas time and we have lots of cookies/pies/etc. all it means is I'm holding steady. I'll take it though. Alrighty, my sleepy brain is not forming thoughts. Time to stop blogging for now!

Blog changes!

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 07:00:00-0700

So I've decided to change the purpose of my personal blog a bit. I also decided to make it password protected. These past two weeks with Liliana, while amazing, have been some of the hardest 2 weeks I've been through so I've decided to make this a place I can vent and express the not so butterfly and rainbow filled world of having a baby. Don't get me wrong - I love my little girl to pieces, but its a big big adjustment. I'll keep ourmonkeyvillage as a place to post all the family friendly happy pictures, videos, milestones, etc. but I need a place for an outlet for me. Also I'm hoping that this will remind me next time we do this that it is possible to survive this infancy stage and that things do get better (or at least thats what everyone tells me!!) So also a warning - this may get girly graphic and discuss things like boobies and icky nasty girly bits. So boys, you are warned :-) Girls - I hope this helps somehow when you all have little ones of your own! (Sarah, I know you have to go through this 7 times!) I'll start at the beginning - the whole birth story thing. I was really hoping she'd enter the world on Friday the 13th, but honestly its best she waited another day. I put in a 50 hour work week that week trying desperately to get some reports done for a big project that launches Jan. 1st. I finally finished them up Friday around 5pm and launched all my changes. Yay! So after that I was officially 'okay' work wise to take off 8-9 weeks. I had been getting signs for a few days that things might happen soon and was told that Thursday that I was already 1 cm dialated and 75% effaced. **Quick bio lesson for those that don't know . . . before the little one can come out a female must be 10 cm dialated (how big the hole is) and 100% effaced (how thin the cervix is) . . . pretty much a lot of this happens by her head pressing down on the cervix. This also makes a mother have to pee. All the time. My bladder does not miss this** We decided to try to 'help' things along by one of the oldest methods of inducing labor. Also one of the most fun :-) Screw spicy foods, long walks, castor oil (ick!) and all the rest . . . just cozy up for some one on one time with eachother and see if you can get the kid out the same way you got her in :-) Sure enough, about 5 hours later at 1:30 in the morning I woke up seconds before my water broke. It wasn't quite like the movies - no huge puddle or anything, but it did soak through the underwear. At first I wondered if all this weight on the bladder just kinda overwhelmed it, but since I got up to pee right away I figured it was probably not urine. I woke Scott up, let him know and headed downstairs to try to get some more sleep. Needless to say both of us were wide awake at this point, so the sleep was a complete and utter failure. After about an hour I finally started having some mild contractions and ended up calling my doctor. He told me I could head in if I wanted, but his advice was to stay at home, eat some food and wait it out a bit. We took that advice and stayed at home until about 6:30. During this time we ate some tasty fuds and played some secret of mana. Seems like the thing to do while in labor . . . play old super nintendo games!!! Finally around 6ish the contractions were more painful and 3 minutes apart so we thought it was probably time. When we got to the hospital they brought us into a room to make sure it was really my water breaking (I hadn't leaked anything more at this time) and to check me out. Our first test as soon to be new parents was the hardest. They left us in the room and gave me a hospital robe to get into. This was not a paper one, it was actual cloth, with more straps and buttons than we could figure out. Much laughter and experimentation later we finally at least got it covering me. They came back, confirmed my water had broken, and did an internal exam. Much to my dismay I was still only 1 cm dilated. They discussed pitocin (a fake version of girly hormones which help bring on contractions) but I talked them out of that for awhile. From all I've read it makes the contractions insanely intense and I was hoping to avoid it. We moved to the actual labor/delivery room and waited for the Doctor. He agreed to let me go a few hours and see how things go, though gave us the nice warnings that when water breaks before labor that there is a large increased risk of c-section. Fun, fun. They also worry about infection, so pretty much I had a 24 hour clock that started at 1:30am that morning and if I didn't deliver by 1:30 the next morning they would have to cut her out. Gotta love the hospital. I was pretty stuck as they hooked me up to all sorts of monitors to measure her heartrate and the contractions so we decided to check out the on-demand movie system that room had (on its nice flat screen TV!) We watched through iron man and I discovered it is possible to nap in 2 minute increments between contractions. Unfortunately all the pain of the contractions was in my back (suckage) and with only 2-3 hours of sleep I was starting to lose it. Finally around 11 I caved and asked for the epidural. I didn't feel too bad as I had read over 90% of labors that are in that back end up asking for pain relief. Let me tell you, it sucks! One theory is that its caused when the baby is facing the wrong way, but that wasn't it in my case. Another theory just says if you get cramps in your lower back thats where labor will be. Thats more like it for me! no fun cause that hints that my next one will be like that too. Anyways, the nice epidural man came in and gave me that. not a fun process, but not horrible for getting a large needle into your spine. I felt one last contraction and then they were pretty much gone. I was a bit lopsided as I could feel them a bit in my left side, but they just had me lay on that side for an hour or so and it slowly trickled down there. Talk about a weird feeling. A bit in I started feeling a bit of pain again so the nice man came back and gave me a booster shot. After that I could feel NOTHING from the belly button down. I kept imagining kill bill where she's trying to move her big toe. I failed there. I could move nothing. Strangest feeling in my life. Anyways, to back up a bit right after the epidural they checked me out and I was up to 6-7 cm dilated! Yay! No pitocin needed!!! So I put on Indiana Jones (yes, I'm a nerd) and started to wait. By this time our parents started trickling in, so it got a bit hectic, but I was a happy camper with no pain, so it was all good. By about 1:30 they checked me out again and said I was 10 cm and they started to get things ready for delivery. All worked out so well - it was a Saturday so all the grandparents could come, and my favorite doctor of the practice was there. No Mr. Jackass! Woot! They were concerned with how numb I was that I wouldn't be able to push - but never fear, it was no issue. I started pushing by about 2:30 and she was here by 2:55. I can't imagine women that have to push for hours on end, its insanely hard work!!! I thank TKD though for being able to control which muscles I was using without being able to feel them and also just for some of the ab work that was needed for this process!! Anyways, right after she was born they suctioned her out and sat her on me. I don't think there are any words that can describe that feeling. Its amazing beyond belief. The little girl was so content they had to keep messing with her to get her to cry and get the fluid out of her lungs, but she did great. Sadly I had a 2nd degree tear, so had to have some stiches, but luckily could feel nothing still. They cleaned her up, weighed her and all that good stuff and decided she was healthy! I'll move on to the post partum stuff next time . . . have visitors coming in about 30 minutes and Scott needs to shower and such, meaning Lily's daddy nap (while he plays Fable 2) is done and I'll probably have a kid attached to a boob here in a second. Much harder to type with one hand! If you've made it this far I applaud you. This is really for me to have as a documentation more than anything else!

Following Mona's Example

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 05:29:00-0700

Since this blog has been so insanely quiet I thought I'd follow Mona's example and put something up quickly. I am blogging at our "family" blog, but that's all mostly for family updates and will be a place to keep them all satisfied with baby pics/videos once she is here. For any that are interested and haven't found it off facebook, the address is ourmonkeyvillage.blogspot.com Things here are still chugging along. Less than 5 weeks to go which is both exciting and a little bit terrifying. We have now stood our ground against family and are officially done traveling - probably until Christmas. Its wonderful to have weekends where we're staying in town. Its amazing how much time we have to hang out with friends, relax, and at this point, shop. Though we're almost done with the shopping world at least. The 3rd trimester is chugging along. I can't say its fun - but its still not as bad as the 1st. This little girl is treating me well - no swelling, very little heartburn, and still really just growing out to the front. The main issue is sleeping. There are also days that she decides that my hip bones are perfect to put all her weight on, and then movement becomes very difficult. But she's still in there squirming away (out of room for a lot of kicks now) and reassuring me that her head is down by getting hiccups every evening. Very cute. Only really true complaint is the jerk of a doctor I had to deal with yesterday - but hopefully I'm done with him. Work is the only real stressful point and that's only because I have a big project that is supposed to go live around Jan 1st - meaning I need to have it done before maternity leave. We're still waiting on feedback from them (which will come this week), so I've been kinda stalled on it. As long as I go close to the due date there should be no issues. Medically though I'm considered full term in 12 days . . .that would be a bit more rough! My boss isn't concerned though and the customers know of the situation, so I'm sure it will all work out. Right now I'm aiming for Nov 13th as the day she comes (like I have any control!) but that'd be Friday the 13th . . .which would just be cool. Time to go digging through the cabinets to see if I can find any food. Hope everyone is doing well!

August Post

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 11:24:00-0700

Well, I got one in before August ended! Barely. All here is going well. Its been hectic, but productive. The mulching is finally done outside, the construction is mostly done upstairs - just need to put up a ceiling fan and do a bit of work with the switch wiring, and we have all our important appointments on Friday scheduled to deal with pediatricians, day care, insurance, etc. We passed an important "parent" milestone last night and built the crib. It actually wasn't too bad. Her dresser gets here this weekend and I can put away clothes and clean up the clothes tornado that happened in the nursery. Its fun :-) Pregnancy wise things are moving along. I'm missing the 2nd trimester as the joys of the third take over. These include waking up at least 5 times a night in pain and having to find a new position, heartburn, the return of some stomach issues, and a good amount of leg, hip and back pain. She's growing nicely though. As of 3 weeks ago she was almost 2 pounds and according to most estimates should be over 2.5 now. She's also insanely active most days, kicking and punching up a storm. 200 days down, 80 days to go!!! Another crazy month ahead, but I can't wait to see some of you this weekend!!!

Hello Quiet Blogging World!

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 05:53:00-0700

Wow we have been a quiet bunch! I hope life is treating everyone well. Things here in Indiana are hectic as always. We're getting new carpet installed upstairs today (hopefully . . .they're supposed to show up in the next hour). The issue now is Scott is highly alergic to the two back bedrooms. This should solve this problem! After that comes the joy of essentially moving back into those rooms as tons and tons of stuff . . . including all our books . . .is stacked up in the living room right now. This weekend - Lafayette for the 4th Next Weekend - Lafayette for the King and I The Next - Seattle (yay!!) After that a visit with Scott's dad and then its already August. Its no wonder I'm tired! Pregnancy wise I hit a big milestone today. 1/2 way there!!!! 140 days done, 140 days to go. Yay!!! The 2nd trimester is MUCH better than the 1st. My only huge complaint is having to sleep on my side which is KILLING my hips, arms and legs. I'm also starting to grow at a pretty rapid pace. Pants that fit 2 weeks ago just laugh at me when I try to button them now. Buttons and zippers are now a thing of the past. *sigh* The exciting news is that we will find out the gender in 13 days . . . as long as the kid isn't too terribly shy. That means we will know before the big Seattle trip. Yay! Hope life is treating everyone well and I can't wait to see some of you in a few weeks!